Our Miracle

Happy Due Date & Happy One Month, Elias Jackson!!!

Elias’ entrance into the world was highly anticipated, yet a completely unexpected event! We decided to write down his birth story for both him, and us, to be able to look back on over the years. Since so many people have asked about his birth, we decided to share it with friends and family as well.  At one point in our pregnancy we were told we could lose our son, we know that it was God who authored his life, and preserved it, despite what many doctors were telling us, and we want him to receive all the glory!

I was blessed to have a pretty picture perfect pregnancy up until about 32 weeks. At our 20 week anatomy scan we found out that we would be welcoming a son into our family! It was at this appointment that we also found out my placenta was low-lying, and my doctor planned to check it again at 32 weeks. At 32 weeks we had the ultrasound to check my placenta, which had moved and was no longer low-lying (I was excited because if it hadn’t moved Elias would need to be delivered by c-section.) After sharing the good news with me, my OB told me that she saw something around Elias’ lungs. She wasn’t positive if it was fluid or not, but she wanted a doctor from UVA’s Maternal-Fetal Medicine team to take a second look. She also said it might just be a shadow, and not to worry.

The following Friday I had appointment with a doctor from UVA at our hospital in Lynchburg. (Every Friday UVA sent one of their doctors to Lynchburg to work with high-risk pregnancies.) Scheduling an appointment with the heading “high risk” really did not worry us. Leo and I were not anxious, my doctor had seemed so calm, I felt fine, and we just believed they were being careful, and taking a second look at Elias.

After a lengthy ultrasound the doctor from UVA asked to meet with us in a separate room to discuss a strategy for the remainder of my pregnancy. I did not know what we needed a strategy for, but I instantly knew it was probably not good news. The doctor sat us down and told us that our baby boy had a serious condition where moderate levels of fluid were surrounding both of his lungs. There was also excess amniotic fluid around Elias. The doctor used terms like bilateral plural effusions, hydrops fetalis, and chylothorax. He told us there was a chance that we could lose Elias, and that we shouldn’t google any of the conditions he diagnosed him with. He also suggested it was in Elias’ best interest to move my care to UVA so that they could monitor him weekly for the remainder of the pregnancy, and so that a more equipped NICU could handle his care when he was born.

The primary fear was that the fluid around his lungs could build, or appear around other vital organs making it harder for them to do their jobs. We were told there was a good chance Elias would not be breathing when he was born because the pressure of the fluid around his lungs would not allow them to expand fully. The doctor told me to prepare myself for a number of scenarios at his birth. Some of those scenarios included stillbirth, intubating Elias so he could breathe, inserting needles into his chest cavity to drain the fluid, and possibly surgery to correct the underlying reason for the fluid. One thing he promised me was that Elias would not be handed to me for immediate skin-to-skin/nursing; the NICU doctors and nurses would begin work on him as soon as he was out.

In an instant it felt like our whole world changed. Our very normal, healthy, pregnancy was now considered high risk, and we had just been told we could lose our baby. The tears were welling up in my eyes as we scheduled an appointment for the following Thursday at UVA. I only made it one step outside the clinic door before it was a river of tears. We got to our car and began praying, although crying out to God is probably a more accurate description of the scene. We prayed for a miracle as we asked God to clear up the fluid and correct whatever the cause of it was.

Over the weekend we prayed without ceasing, and eventually decided to share the news with others so they could be lifting Elias up. We were overwhelmed by all the people who were praying for him!  We really were full of faith, we knew that God had formed every part of Elias over the past 8 months, so we knew He could easily clear this fluid and correct any part of Elias’ body that was causing it to leak into his chest cavity. As he continued to move around and kick all weekend I wondered how he could possibly be so sick.

We clung to the verse, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain ‘move from here to there’ and it will move.”  We knew our faith was bigger than a mustard seed, we just had to cling to it as we waited for his arrival. We both had our moments where fear of losing Elias would creep back in, but usually one of us was strong when the other was doubting.  We would pray and remind each other of God’s promises. One day in particular I was the weak one. I was in Elias’ nursery, all that was left were a few finishing touches, but I began to fear what I would do if we didn’t bring him home. What if he never slept in the crib we put together? What if he never wore any of the clothes we had washed and put away for him? What if he never got to see the mountains we painted on the wall for him? That was probably my lowest point. I did not know what I would do if we came home from the hospital empty-handed.

For a couple of days after that initial appointment we took the doctors advice and didn’t google anything, but eventually we each googled Elias’ condition. The results of the search were frightening, and as hard as it was, we had tough conversations preparing  our hearts to trust that God is good, even if we lost our son.

The following week we had appointments at UVA where another ultrasound was done, as well as an echo-cardiogram. The echo showed that Elias’ heart was structurally perfect, and most likely not the cause of the fluid in his chest cavity. The ultrasound showed that there was no noticeable increase or decrease in the fluid level. We took both these results as positive news. Our doctors at UVA wanted us to reach 40 weeks so Elias’ lungs could mature as much as possible, but they told us to be ready each time we came back in case they needed to induce labor. Our next appointment was four days away, the Tuesday after Memorial Day. Being the planner I am I spent some time over the weekend finishing packing the hospital bag, installing his car-seat, and making sure things at home and work were taken care of as much as possible.

On Memorial day we had planned to do something fun just to take our minds off of everything going on. I had a terrible headache through Sunday night though, and it was not getting any better even after taking Tylenol. I could hear my OB’s words in my head that if I ever got a headache that was different than normal, and wouldn’t go away, that it could be a sign of preeclampsia.  Even though my blood pressure had been perfect my entire pregnancy, my instincts told me that something was off. I decided to call the nurse line at UVA and after hearing my symptoms, and asking some other questions, they advised me to come in to the Labor and Delivery Triage unit.

Driving up to the hospital wasn’t exactly what we had envisioned for Memorial Day, but I was in so much pain and needed to figure out what was going on. I have never had a headache like the one I had that day. When we arrived at UVA they found out my blood pressure was very high, (in stroke and kidney failure ranges.) They hooked me up to a fetal monitor, took some blood samples, and started an IV medication to lower my blood pressure. The nurse told us we would probably be there for an hour and a half. I was relieved that my instincts were right and that we would be on our way soon.

A few minutes after they started the IV I wanted to lay on my side because my back was hurting. The nurse adjusted the fetal monitors to find Elias’ heart in the new position, but was having trouble picking up his heartbeat on the monitor. Another nurse came in and the two of them exchanged a look that something was obviously wrong. They asked me to turn to the other side and kept adjusting the monitors. More nurses, and some residents, came into the room at that point. They asked me to get on my hands and knees, then they put an oxygen mask on me. They still could not find Elias’ heartbeat. Very quickly nurses started taking my clothes off me, calling for a doctor, and requesting O.R Two.  One of the residents told us we were going to be having a baby today.

Everything was happening so fast, but my main concern was for Elias. I ripped off my oxygen mask to tell them about his condition, that he might not be breathing when he was born and the cause was fluid around the lungs. One of the residents who I didn’t recognize in scrubs and a mask, told me she was at my appointment that past Thursday, she knew Elias’ case, and she said the NICU team was ready in the operating room. At that point I was able to relax slightly and let the team of people who had quickly formed around me do their jobs. I looked to Leo in the corner of the room and asked him to pray as they wheeled me to the OR.

Being an emergency c-section, Leo was not allowed in the room. They also could not give me a spinal, or epidural, I had to be put fully under anesthesia since they couldn’t find our little boy’s heartbeat and time was of the essence. Though neither of us were able to experience Elias’ birth in the way we would have hoped, it’s still a miracle to us. At 1:26pm on May 28, 2018 they lifted our son out of me and he was crying!!! We prayed and prayed that God would put breath in Elias’ lungs and that he would be crying when he was born. God, in his great faithfulness, answered our prayers, and even though we didn’t hear those first cries, I know they were a sweet sound filling the OR.

Thanks to text messages we have a pretty good idea of just how fast all of these events unfolded. Leo was texting family and at 1:14 he told them they had started me on an IV to bring my blood pressure down. In just twelve minutes they lost his heartbeat on the monitor, whisked me off to an OR, put me under anesthesia, and delivered our son!

Elias was born at 35 weeks and 4 days, a month early to the day! The NICU team immediately took him to a warmer and evaluated his vital signs. They placed him on a C-PAP machine to help his lungs expand fully, but he didn’t need a breathing tube!! He has been breathing “room air” since the moment he was born! After he was stable they wheeled him out  of the OR and his daddy was waiting for him to head to the NICU. A little while later when I came out of surgery Leo was waiting for me too, and he told me all about how Elias was doing. It would still be a few hours before I was able to get out of bed and go meet him in the NICU, and it wouldn’t be until the next day that we were able to hold him for the first time.

Around 24 hours later Elias was doing well enough that they took him off the C-pap machine. Now that he wasn’t hooked up to the machine,  we were able to finally hold him. It was just Leo and I at the hospital during the day on Tuesday. Those first few hours as a family of three, with our son, out of his incubator, in our arms, were pure magic.

Though completely unconventional, and far from what we planned, our son was here,  and God had done a miracle in him. Over the next few days the doctors monitored his vital signs, listened to his breathing, and took chest x-rays to monitor the fluid. The two fetal medicine doctors who diagnosed him with him plural effusions and hydrops fetalis stopped in to check on him and were perplexed at how he was doing so well. His NICU doctors showed me his x-rays where you can clearly see the fluid around his lungs diminishing, and eventually disappearing without any medical intervention. They have no reason for the fluid, anatomically, everything looks perfect in Elias. Their best possible explanation is an infection, but they can’t say for sure. So many things that the doctors told us never came to pass. Elias never needed to be on a ventilator, he never needed the fluid drained from his chest, and he did not need surgery to correct any anatomical issues with his chest cavity.  He is a perfectly healthy baby boy, praise God!

Since Elias made his entrance into the world a month early he did need to spend twelve days in the NICU learning how to eat, but we are so blessed that is the only reason for his stay. I plan to write about our time in the NICU at some point, but I haven’t started yet, newborns keep you kinda busy!

The day we were finally able to bring Elias home was a beautiful day! A little over a week before I had been discharged from the hospital, and  we had to drive the hour and twenty minutes home without our baby. It was the hardest thing to leave our son behind, absolutely heart-wrenching. The day he came home though was perfect, we were finally all under the same roof instead of falling asleep in three different places each night.

We took Elias into his room and showed him the mountains we painted for him. (We had told him all about his room and his home while he was in the NICU; anything to motivate him to come home!) Holding him in his room I teared up. My greatest fear, that he would never come home to this room, did not come to pass. God is so faithful. Even the mountains on Elias’ wall remind us that we serve a God who can use our small, mustard seed sized faith to move mountains. We listened to several worship songs on repeat after receiving the news about the pleural effusions Elias had, but one of our favorites was Do It Again, by Elevation Worship which is all about God’s faithfulness. It also has this beautiful line about believing God moves the mountains, and that he’ll do it again. God took the mountain that was in front of us and moved it completely. I see God’s faithfulness every single time I look at our son. Even when he cries I can praise God because it’s the evidence that there is breath in his lungs, that he’s alive! I can’t believe he has been with us for a month already. It has been an incredible month watching him grow in so many ways. He is such a sweet boy! He currently loves his WubbaNub monkey, cuddling, and playing with his toys, especially his basketball. He loves being swaddled, but don’t even think about swaddling his arms because he needs them up by his face or he’s going to be upset! His only dislikes are diaper changes and being burped. We’re excited to see what month #2 holds!

Here’s what happens when you take monkey away! 🙂